Worrying for Two: Recognizing and Managing Pregnancy Anxiety Part 1
Inside Out 2 got so many things right, including when Anxiety said, “Fear protects [Riley] from the scary stuff she can see, and MY job is to protect her from the scary stuff she CAN'T see! I plan for the future.”
If you’re reading this, then you probably already know that anxiety isn’t reserved exclusively for teenagers but is an emotion we all experience. However, for expecting mothers, anxiety can feel harder to manage because of past traumas and unknown variables and outcomes waiting for them in the future. On top of all of this, you likely aren’t trying to predict the future just for yourself anymore and are now worrying for two.
What is Pregnancy Anxiety?
Pregnancy anxiety is exactly what it sounds like – anxiety symptoms that happen more frequently or take longer to dissipate during pregnancy. Anxiety symptoms during pregnancy are very similar to generalized anxiety symptoms. This includes (but is not limited to):
Lightheadedness or dizziness
Nausea
Difficulty breathing
Difficulty sleeping
Decreased appetite
Panic attacks
Restlessness or difficulty sitting still
Trouble focusing or making decisions
Rumination
Stomachaches
Muscle pain
Increased heart rate or irregular heartbeats
Headaches
Trouble relaxing
Sense of dread or fearing the worse
Difficulty controlling worry thoughts
Feeling disconnected from yourself (i.e., body), others, or the world around you
However, unlike other types of anxiety, pregnancy anxiety is most often related to thoughts about conceiving, being pregnant, giving birth, and/or parenting. Therefore, symptoms can worsen from thoughts or reminders related to any of these life events and transitional periods. Before coming to see me, my clients experienced reoccurring dreams about harming their child and were convinced that they would not be able to bond with baby. They also worried that they would somehow be negligent (despite being very responsible) and imagined Final Destination-esq scenarios that would drive their anxiety through the roof! Ultimately, my clients entered therapy adamant that they were terrible people for having these thoughts and convinced themselves that they were (going to be) even worse parents. Although they wanted to raise happy and secure children, my clients were worried about all the things that they couldn’t see or control and it consumed them. My job was to help them confront their anxiety, understand the root of their worry, and feel in control of their life – and their journey to parenthood – again. I’d love to help you too.
Managing Pregnancy Anxiety
Identify Patterns in Anxious Symptoms
Although you may think your anxious thoughts or feelings happen “out of the blue”, they don’t. Anxiety symptoms are triggered by clear or subtle reminders of the things we can’t see (and therefore can’t control). Some of the most common reasons why you may experience pregnancy anxiety include:
Inability to conceive (i.e., receiving an infertility diagnosis)
Worry that you will be an inadequate parent (aka concern that you will not be “good enough” for baby)
Fear of death or dying during pregnancy, birth, or during postpartum recovery
Worry about recreating or passing down traumas from your own upbringing
Lack of support at home (e.g., low partner, familial, or community support)
Fear of pregnancy loss
In order to identify patterns in your anxiety, you first need to confront it. I know it’s really unsettling to think about sitting with your anxiety – you wouldn’t be feeling overwhelmingly anxious if you could. However, we can’t address something that we’re avoiding either. Mindfulness is a great technique to help us observe our thoughts, feelings, and internal experiences. Think about watching your internal experiences like you would a film in a movie theater (or like the characters from Inside Out 2). You can read more about specific ways to practice mindfulness here. Being curious about your internal conversations related to pregnancy and parenthood can also help you identify the subtle and more direct anxiety triggers. Did you begin to feel a pang in your stomach as soon as that formula commercial came on and wonder if you’ll be able to breastfeed? Do you ruminate right before your perinatal appointments because you’re expecting to hear bad news? Do you dread going to sleep because you’re worried that you’ll have that nightmare where you did something unspeakable to baby? When we practice mindfulness, we are better able to pair the symptoms (e.g., stomach issues, rumination, and difficulty sleeping) with the feared outcome (e.g., not being able to provide enough, fear of the worst happening, harming baby).
Recognizing patterns in your anxiety symptoms (e.g., understanding the things that make you feel more and less anxious) can help reduce pregnancy anxiety because 1) you are less likely to feel blindsided by said anxiety
and 2) you can cope better with things that you can predict. For example, if you hate going to your ultrasound appointments and are waiting to hear bad news, you can remind yourself that you typically feel anxious before your appointments and find new ways to cope (e.g., bringing a friend to the appointment, scheduling a therapy session right before or after your appointment, going for a walk just before to calm your nerves, or talking to your provider openly about your anxiety symptoms).
Final Thoughts:
Managing pregnancy anxiety can feel like a daunting task, but by understanding its roots and recognizing patterns, you can regain a sense of control. Pregnancy anxiety is a common and valid experience, not a reflection of your worth as a parent. By approaching your anxiety with mindfulness, you can better identify signs and symptoms quicker and seek support sooner. Stay tuned for part 2 of this two-part series where I’ll discuss other coping strategies you can use to manage your anxiety.
Ready to Reclaim Your Peace & Happiness In Parenting?
If you’re tired of worrying about the things you can’t see for you and baby, it’s time to take action. Imagine rediscovering who you are, finding joy in your pregnancy, and feeling supported and understood. Pregnancy shouldn’t be about worrying for 9-10 months. If you’re in New York State and struggling with pregnancy anxiety, reach out to me now. I’d love to help you navigate this challenging phase and find balance and joy in your pregnancy and parenting journey.
Contact me now and let's get started.
Learn more about managing burnout through my blogs.
You and your family deserve to thrive, not just survive!
Other Services I Offer Online Anywhere in New York
In addition to helping moms manage pregnancy anxiety, I offer a range of specialized services to support you through various life phases. Whether you need assistance with other postpartum and pregnancy concerns, general support, burnout, infertility and pregnancy loss, or family planning, I'm here to guide you every step of the way. Let's work together to find balance and well-being in your life.
About The Author:
Dr. Ruby Rhoden is a New York-based licensed psychologist who is dedicated to uplifting women through life changes and challenges, including reproduction and parent burnout. She understands how unhelpful behavior patterns and mental health disorders uniquely impact women and uses evidence-based techniques to usher in sustainable change and relief. Dr. Ruby is dedicated to helping women develop healthier habits and relationships with themselves and their bodies so they can connect to others and the world around them again. Dr. Ruby studied at Cornell University and Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey for her Bachelor’s and Doctoral degrees, respectively. In her free time, she enjoys watching reality TV, supporting small businesses, and writing blog posts to remind all women that they are not alone.
