Decision Fatigue: What Is Keeping You from Reaching Out?
Have you ever found yourself endlessly debating whether to start therapy, only to end up doing nothing? You’re not alone. Many high-achieving women, especially those in demanding careers, navigating parenting or caretaking roles, or in relationships struggle with what’s known as decision fatigue. It’s that mental exhaustion that comes from making too many choices throughout the day—whether they’re big or small. And when it comes to prioritizing your emotional well-being, decision fatigue might be the very thing keeping you stuck.
Understanding Decision Fatigue
Decision fatigue occurs when the mental energy required to make choices becomes depleted over time. The more decisions you make—what to wear, what to eat, how to handle a tough email—the harder it becomes to make thoughtful, intentional choices later in the day. This is especially true for women who “look good on paper” but are silently battling stress, anxiety, or self-doubt.
If you’re constantly being the decision-maker at work, in relationships, and even within your family dynamics, you may unknowingly be draining yourself to the point where making an additional choice—like reaching out for help—feels overwhelming.
Why Decision Fatigue Keeps You from Seeking Therapy
Even when you recognize that therapy could be beneficial, decision fatigue can make taking that first step feel impossible. Here’s why:
You’re Stuck in a Cycle of Overthinking
High-achieving women are often expert problem-solvers. You’ve likely spent time researching different therapists, reading reviews, and considering all your options. But instead of moving forward, you keep cycling through the same thoughts:
What if this therapist isn’t the right fit?
How do I even start the conversation?
Is my problem even “big enough” to warrant therapy?
This constant analysis leads to mental exhaustion, making it easier to delay reaching out altogether.
You’re Already Overloaded with Daily Decisions
When you’re constantly making high-stakes decisions at work, in your relationships, or within your family, adding one more thing—even if it’s good for you—feels daunting. Your mind tells you that figuring out therapy logistics (scheduling, payment, availability) is just another burden you don’t have the energy for.
You Feel the Need to Have Everything Figured Out First
You’re used to being the one who has the answers. The thought of showing up to therapy without a neatly packaged list of “problems to solve” might feel uncomfortable. But therapy isn’t about having it all figured out before you start—it’s about giving yourself the space to explore and understand your emotions in real-time.
Fear of Commitment
Weekly therapy requires time, money, and emotional investment. If you’re already stretched thin, the idea of committing to something long-term might feel like another pressure point. You might find yourself saying, I’ll reach out when things settle down, but the truth is, life will always be busy.
Breaking Through the Fatigue: Small Steps Forward
If decision fatigue is keeping you from reaching out, here’s how to take small, manageable steps:
Limit Your Choices
Instead of spending weeks researching dozens of therapists, start with three providers. Most therapists, such as myself, offer free consultations. Take advantage of these bite-size sessions to get a feel for your potential provider and ultimately, go with your gut. Did they get your humor or reality show TV reference? Did they notice when you got uncomfortable and approached you in a way that felt safe? Notice how you feel just before and right after these consultations to help guide your selection process.
Shift from “All or Nothing” Thinking
You don’t have to commit to therapy forever—start with one session. View it as an experiment rather than a lifelong commitment. If you leave the first session feeling good or neutral, try attending a few more (up to four sessions). By the fourth session, you’ll pick up on the relationship or “vibe” between you and your provider and will have a deeper understanding on the fit.
I also encourage my clients to let me know when they don’t want to come to therapy and to still show up anyway. While the reasons vary (i.e., they want to avoid talking about something that feels too vulnerable or they aren’t sure what they want to talk about), these sessions are my absolute favorite! For those struggling with decision fatigue, these sessions are a nice way to not have the answer and give you another opportunity to build trust in me that 1) you can show up effortlessly, 2) I’ll have a plan for us, and 3) we can uncover some important shit even if you don’t have “the answers”.
Make It as Easy as Possible
Instead of overcomplicating the process, take the simplest step: send an email or fill out a contact form. You don’t need to have the perfect words—just reaching out is enough. And it’s your (potential) therapist’s job to help you form the words…literally. So take some comfort in knowing that your therapist is ready and willing to untangle your nuances, uncertainties, and doubts with you.
Give Yourself Permission to Prioritize You
You make decisions for everyone else—it’s okay to make one for yourself. Seeking therapy isn’t about “fixing” anything; it’s about creating space for you to be heard, understood, and supported.
Final Thoughts
Decision fatigue can be a silent barrier to prioritizing your mental health. If you’ve been putting off reaching out for therapy, recognize that this hesitation isn’t a reflection of your worth or capability—it’s simply mental exhaustion at play. By simplifying the decision and taking one small step forward, you can break free from the cycle of overthinking and give yourself the support you deserve.
Start Overcoming Decision Fatigue with A Burnout Therapist in New York
If decision fatigue has been holding you back, know that you're not alone—and you don’t have to figure it all out before reaching out. Start small. You can schedule a consultation with The Lavender Therapy to get support from a caring therapist across New York. You can start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:
Learn more from my blogs here.
Start taking the first step to improving your mental health!
Other Services I Offer Across New York
Therapy for burnout isn’t the only service that I offer. I provide a variety of specialized services to support you. Whether you're seeking help with infertility and pregnancy loss support, postpartum and pregnancy challenges, women’s therapy, or family planning, I’m here to offer guidance and care every step of the way.
About The Author:
Dr. Ruby Rhoden is a New York-based licensed psychologist who is dedicated to uplifting women through life changes and challenges, including reproduction and parent burnout. She understands how unhelpful behavior patterns and mental health disorders uniquely impact women and uses evidence-based techniques to usher in sustainable change and relief. Dr. Ruby is dedicated to helping women develop healthier habits and relationships with themselves and their bodies so they can connect to others and the world around them again. Dr. Ruby studied at Cornell University and Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey for her Bachelor’s and Doctoral degrees, respectively. In her free time, she enjoys watching reality TV, supporting small businesses, and writing blog posts to remind all women that they are not alone.
